Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
