I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
