I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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