Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Pants are for mortals
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