I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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