if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
