I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
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He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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