Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
