Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
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you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
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You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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