i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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