I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize