If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
