This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
