Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
