My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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