hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
