he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
BRING THE BAGELS
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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