her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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