You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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