Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
