I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
