I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
