1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
