whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize