I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
