So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize