I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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