I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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