Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
