Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
