That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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