I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
