I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
