I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
