and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
