I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
