Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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