ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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