There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
