I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
