he shaved USA in his pubs
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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