On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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