Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
