sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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