just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
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You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize