So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my shit smells like andre
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
