Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
