About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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