She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
