u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
