Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
