just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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