whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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