Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He kissed a someone with a penis
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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