For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
