I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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