Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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