mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
